photo taken from www.dreamstime.com/man-falling-down-stairs-th...
A man who insisted that he fathered the baby of his former lover had pepper thrown in his eyes. According to neighbors the man went to the woman’s premises days after the baby was born and demanded to see the infant.
He is said to have announced that despite the fact that the woman claims that her other boyfriend who is expected to be leaving the country soon for the US is the father, he was positive that the child was his based on his calculations.
The man who announced that he would be able to recognize the child with one glimpse walked up the stairs and shouted for the woman who he referred to as a gold digger to produce the infant for him to inspect.
The 23 year mother of the child who from all indications seemed to be embarrassed by the allegations which were being made in front of relatives of the proclaimed father of the child, began using expletives at the man and demanded that he left her father’s yard.
However, the middle aged man who continued to cause a scene insisted that he was not going to leave until he saw the child who he shouted would look like his other 10 children if his hunch was correct, as he said that he had very strong genes and all of his children had his ‘big nose’.
Onlookers said that all they remembered was seeing a quick pitch before the man rolled down the stairs, got up, and began running down the street screaming “ow mi eyes, that b@#4h through pepper in my eyes. Oh mi god mi think mi guh blind now.”
The Secretary General Ewon Carryon told the Group: “All of you know that we have so much going on and none of us really know what to do, so I have a little suggestion and I hope we can all agree. I want us to have a séance, leh we call for dem boys who start this thing and let dem tell we what to do because things aint going good.”
As soon as the séance was completed Errol Barrow of Barbados, Michael Manley of Jamaica, and Forbes Burnham of Guyana came forward (Eric Williams of Trinidad said that he wasn’t going to get out of bed for that crap.”)
- Manley shushed the Secretary General and shouted: “Burnham you don’t say nothing to me, I want this likkle boy here who is the President of your country to tell me what bl&%^$*@t he mean but dem raising rice on Jamaica, the purpose of CARICOM is to give we de rice cheap and we gon keep making de reggae music…., him too out of order,” Manley shouted while waving a copy of the Gleaner.
At that point former Guyana leader Burnham voiced in: “I don’t know that boy, but me and him will talk later, but you Manley talking about rice, and that is not what CARICOM stand for, how come no one saying anything to Barrow and Thompson about how dem treating de Caribbean people in dey country, especially the Guyanese.”
Burnham
As all heads turned to look at Barrow, he shouted….”look I don’t have time for this…and left he the room, Burnham ran after him saying: “Oh no, we are going to discuss this,” and Manley shouted “Burnham don’t change the subject we not paying a redcent more for no dutty rice , come back here.”
As the Leaders disappeared the current Heads of Government were left staring and Carryon shouted: “Don’t let me hear another word about this,” and the group shouted “Agreed” in Unison.
Who said to be fashionable you must be trendy. That is furthest from the truth, as far as I am concerned, to be fashionable is to know what to wear when.
With that point established I move on to a ridiculous sight that has been reported by some keen observers who have very little tolerance for blatant transgressors of fashion.
One of the fashion look-outs saw a sight that she described as ludicrous. She said that she was working out at a certain gym and there she was unlucky enough to see a large number of fashion no no’s. The lookout who shall be referred to as fashion officer one, said that she saw men running on the treadmills with heavy construction boots, and others wearing tights.
Surely those are major fashion offences, so they deserve separate attentions .
Construction Boots
There was only thing to say to those gentlemen in those heavy duty boots, and just so that they understand, it should be said to them using a Caribbean dialect—– “mind yuh bruck yuh foot, and de people dem machine.”
It is still beyond me why someone would want to torture himself that much, those boots are heavy and countless men have complained of the way it bruises and crushes their toes; and don’t forget the gorgonzola fragrance!!
Men in tights
If you do not live in the Shakespeare era, and as long as you are not superman you have no reason to be wearing tights anywhere outside of your house. It is always obvious that most guys who wear those really tight pants always have that near death look on their faces….so one is left to wonder what is the state of the family jewels when they wear tights.
It is just sickening the way people go around talking about things that do not relate to them in any way, shape or form. These individuals seem to have graduated with a PHD in minding other people’s business.
image taken from: clipartof.com
As if talking about what doesn’t concern them is not bad enough some of these individuals even resort to fabricating stories whey they are not hearing enough tales or when they feel that the story they want to tell lacks interesting details.
I doubt whether those who make it a habit to go around talking negatively about others are aware that in some instances, what they say might be a form of slander, and that slandering is an offence that can be dealt with in a court of law.
True, there are times when an act or word may push someone to say something that they may have preferred not to. Still, there is never any justification to say things that may tarnish someone’s image or reputation, and the utterance of such words can lead to actions that quite often are very painful.
The sympathy factor often goes way down when an individual purposely constructs tall tales that can negatively affect another, just because they were bored.
The same goes for people who listen to gossip just to pass on what they hear to someone who is like minded. Remember every time one gossips about another he/she defaces that individual’s character. Besides, gossiping and slandering are unethical and shows lack of integrity which is a form of bad manners.
When one is tempted to gossip or make slanderous remarks about another, remember the old adage that says: “Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, and great minds discuss ideas.” I am sure that no one reading this would regard, his or herself as small minded.
If that doesn’t work you should remember the four way test: “Is it the truth, is it fair to all concerned, will it build good will and better friendships, and will it be beneficial to all concerned?”
However, the men are still stipulating that their women be able to cook and at the same time be able to prepare a variety of dishes. This raises the question of what is to become of the women who are no Betty Crockers.
Say what you will about women with little or no culinary skills, it still remains no laughing matter. Many have admitted that they are too embarrassed to ask someone to teach them, while a few even admitted that even their mother don’t know how to cook and managed just fine therefore there shouldn’t be much hardship in store for them.
One woman proudly declared: “So what if I cant cook, I have my own money and I buy my own food and before I invite a guy over for a home cooked meal I prefer to take him out to dinner and show him how an independent woman is supposed to live.”
Another announced: “When I say I can’t cook I mean I can’t cook the conventional ways, but I could make myself something to ward off the hunger pangs. Most of my meals are prepared with the preservation of my figure in mind therefore the comments made by my boyfriend about my food being “bland” and “tormenting to eat” phased me not because I ate and was satisfied and I know that my body was nourished.”
Some men I spoke to were eager to laugh at personal encounters with women who were challenged in the kitchen:
One guy recalled: “I was living with this Trini Girl and the mistake I made was to ask her to make some curry for me, well boy is a good thing I have had curry from Trinidad before or I would have been convinced that all curries looked like tea with big lumps of curry powder and large chunks of onions floating alongside chucks of raw unseasoned chicken with very hard potatoes”
Another Guy laughed historically as he remembered the young lady who cooked all of the provisions in their skin.
Another recalled the young lady whose peas and rice always looked like rice pudding or porridge.
On the other hand their was one lone gentleman who said that he would have been happy to teach any young lady he was dating how to cook.
The high cost of living and the current economic situation is making attempts to save difficult.
Savings are important, as everyone understands the philosophy behind making provisions for a raining day. However, the current economic climate casts a veil of uncertainty as to job security. Now more than ever mommy’s advice to put up something for unforeseen occurrences and circumstances are holds true.
While the willingness to save is there, the average Caribbean person claims to be living from paycheck to paycheck and as such finds it difficult to put aside any thing for the days of famine. Often persons say that they find that their salaries and wages end before even getting into their hands.
That is why so many turn to sous sous and partner hands, a proven means of saving. While it is argued by many financial gurus and advisers that such forms of savings really makes no sense as the person gets nothing in return as opposed to bank interests, such comments continues to be ignored.
With economic uncertainties constantly looming on the horizon it makes sense to come up with a strategy that makes one most comfortable, at ease and ensures commitment. The fact that the sous sous banker is usually someone trustworthy and there is usually a quick turn around continues to make this a better way to store funds.
Many regard sous sous because there is little room for complacency. In a regular situation one is not obligated to take money to the bank on a weekly, biweekly or monthly basis. Whereas in a sous sous it is mandatory…..as all hands must be paid.
How does Sous Sous Work
Caribbean persons no matter where in the world they are still carry on this age old banking. The general rule is that an agreed amount is collected from each partner and the total sum is given to a particular member until everyone is paid.
Henry McChicken, AVC President
The three well dressed animals referred to the region wide water shortage as a wake up call for Caribbean residents to stop eating animals and become vegetarians.
Cow, who is the Acting Public Relations Officer for AVC (the previous PRO died of thirst) said that she knows that the water shortage will affect some of her fellow animals, but she said that this is necessary. In the meantime Cow announced that AVC is in negotiations with the fishes who are busy developing water saving projects for animals only. “The fishes don’t want to be eaten either so, we are all working together.”
In the meantime Pig agreed that not all humans will be able to automatically become vegetarians so, he is suggesting that horses, cats and dogs be considered in the until total vegetarianism can occur: “We invited the cats, dogs and horses to join AVC, but they refused, I think they want to be eaten….and why not I heard that horse soup tastes wonderful.”
photo taken from commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Squatters_at_...
The announcement by the Trinidadian Government to levy property tax on squatters has caused a lively debate to ensue among Trinidadians.
The story of the impending tax was written by Lara Pickford-Gordon, published on Tuesday 23rd March and could be found at http://www.newsday.co.tt/politics/0,117786.html. The article stated that: “The property tax net will seek to capture all sectors of society including the thousands of squatters who reside at different locations across the country. The property tax will be based on the annual rental value calculated for properties”http://www.ttonline.org asked if the Government was prepared to “charge people property tax fuh the rocks that they living under.”
At the basis of the argument for the majority is that the proposed tax makes no sense and one commenter on popular Trinidadian Forum
A Trinidadian residing in North Carolina questioned whether the Government was going to regularize the squatting and give the people a lease or a rental contract?
“Who the hell is going to pay tax on a property they don’t own especially when they could be thrown out and have their homes demolished,” the US resident asked.
Another overseas based Trinidadian argued that people should not be squatting in the first place: “At least there will be a system in place for squatters to pay on land they felt entitled to,” he said.
The debate continued with one poster saying: “Property tax is needed and I’m not sure why some Trinidadians are so resistant to change. I think this is a great way to rid of squatters: pay up or get off this land! Taxpayers should not have to be paying for these lazy bums.”
Another commenter said that while he/she agrees that people should not be squatting, the new tax measure will just serve as a means of legitimizing the illegal occupation of a property that does not belong to the squatter.
It was the view of other forum members that the taxing will leave squatters with no choice but to pay or be forced off the land/jailed/fined.
“Of course I’m not sure how one goes about appraising a galvanized shack,” one commenter asked.
photo taken from www.postnewsline.com/2007/09/buea-weeps-for-.htmlIn a world where morals are slowly decaying and politeness and courtesy are sliding into an ideal of being nothing more than just olden traditions, some folks still try very hard to portray themselves as individuals with manners. Of course this is not too complicated because everyone was or should have been taught the basic rules of saying please and thank you, asking for an excuse and overall being respectful.
In this column I will focus on how certain habits that males perpetrate, actual succeed in making them seem unmannerly. These practices are as follows
Chewing Toothpicks/matchsticks:
I am still curious about the origin of this act. Although it is not clear where it came from, there is a pretty good idea as to how it arrived here in the Caribbean….through the television of course and even though I can state first hand which broadcast network it was continuously portrayed on, I will not. However, I will say that this is not a classy style to adopt. There are many uses for toothpicks but being a mouth piece is not one of them. Besides how distasteful it is to be talking to a young man who has a toothpick that moves up and down as he speaks. Even if that young man is making a very important speech it would be hard to follow because of the distraction in his mouth.
Spitting:
Besides being unhygienic this act is also very gross. Yet some men believe that it is very impressive to hawk and spit in front of others, when in actuality this act displays them in a very unrefined light.
Urinating in public
This is another example of crude behaviour that some men actually perform as a sign of their manliness. In fact in more than one movie, I have noted that this same awful and unsanitary act has been used to prove that the individual was indeed a man.
Swearing:
Very few young men can open their mouths to speak for a long period of time without having a few profanites escaping, especially in tense situations. In fact most young men think that swearing makes them look firm and cool, and to them it sounds lovely just sitting with friends and trading obscene language, especially when it could be heard by others to them, this shows that they are grown enough to not have to care about the discomfort their language may cause to others. Sometimes they speak that way to impressionable young boys who grow up thinking that real men swear, so sooner or later he might have to.
Bully Women
Some men believe that in order to maintain their male superiority they must talk down to their woman, humiliate her and bully the life out of her. As far as they are concerned that is the way it has been and the way it should be. Unfortunately that is not the proper way to be. In fact well mannered men manage to maintain the respect from their female partner without resorting to any of the above mentioned means. They achieve their aim by simply being polite, understanding, considerate and kind.
5. Esau and Jacob –Guyana
6. Penal –Trinidad
7. Dick Hill- Montserrat
8. Crooked Island—Bahamas
9. Little Duers—Antigua
10. Holetown—Barbados
11. Gun Bay—Cayman Islands
12. Old Man Bay—Cayman
13. Rices—St. Kitts
14. Nanny Town—Jamaica
15. Blubber Valley—Antigua
16. Caul’s Bottom –Anguilla
17. Battle Ground –Cayman Islands
18. Zion—St. Kitts
19. Dog City – Cayman
20. GreatHead- St. Vincent
21. Dusty Place – Cayman Islands
22. Deacons—Barbados
23. Driftwood Village –Cayman Islands
24. Old Stores- Cayman
25. Cox Heath–British Virgin Islands
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- Paternity Argument Leaves Man Peppered
- CARICOMY Holds SÉANCE– Burnham, Barrow and Manley Argue
- Dont bruk Yuh Foot
- Careful or your mouth Will Cost You
- Any Hope For Women Who Can’t Cook?
- Sous Sous, Box Hand or Partner Hand Still Best Way to Save
- Chicken, Cow, and Pig, Calls Press Conf. and Makes Demands
- Proposed Squatters Tax Riles Trinis
- Some of the Unrefined Things That Men Do
- Top Twenty-five most interesting names of places in the Caribbean
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